Key points for carer givers from Professor Sheila Hollins:
- Listen and simply be there with the grieving person. There are lots of different ways to allow conversations about bereavement to happen. Don't close down conversations that are painful or difficult. Notice non verbal communication that expresses grief such as sounds, non verbal postures, facial gestures.
- Be honest, explain and find a way to communicate e.g. by looking at photographs, using pictures and stories. Involve the person with learning disability for example in the funeral. Give them a meaningful role such as standing up with a photograph and saying this is my mum or dad. Pictures can be a helpful prompt for these conversations e.g. these e-books.
- Keep routines as stable and normal as possible.
- Chose non verbal rituals such as music, mime or flowers.
- Respect photos and momentos of the persons own choice.
- Assist visits to familiar places in 'search' of the lost person. Help people to look and remember.
- Seek specialist consultation if worrying behavioural changes persist.
- Help those who have experienced loss to remember important anniversaries e.g. through a photobook or by visiting certain places.
Please see the Marie Curie easy read guide (see downloads) which explains death and feelings you may have when someone dies